10 reasons you don't need a golf pro

Editor: This is a post from a Scottish friend, living and writing in Belgium. In my club, lessons go around as “sloppy seconds”. Fred invests in a half-hour with the pro, then tells ten friends what he’s learned, then they tell ten friends, etc., etc. After a week everybody in the club is using a putter under the trees and a driver from the fringe just off the green.. One thing for sure – golf pros have a very subtle sense of humor…Let us know what you think!

So, you took a lesson with the golf pro. You handed over your hard earned money. He took it, he spent it on some woman. But now you’ve seen the light. You don’t need him, what would he know anyway? You’re a successful business person. You’ve made presentations to up to ten people at a time. You’re surrounded by friends and family and colleagues who can guide you, in life as in golf. They’re the same thing after all. Aren’t they?

1. Your work mate Vincent has been playing golf for 30 years (handicap 36) and he’s says you drive like Tiger and, if you look in the mirror, you putt just like Mickelson.

2. You are the proud owner of all of Jack Nicklaus’ DVDs, for God’s sake.

3. You normally don’t listen to your mother but she’s right when she says, ‘No grown man needs a teacher, no son of mine etc etc’. She’s right, she’s right, you should listen to her more often. In fact…

4. You are surrounded by women with insight. Your 96 year old grandmother says: ‘It’s all in the mind, Raymond.’ The fact that she lost her mind years ago (you’re not Raymond, that was the name of her first bulldog) is neither here nor there…

5. You visit the gym every day (the bar anyway) without fail. Yesterday, the girl in the supermarket checkout asked, ‘Have you been working out?’ Or maybe she said, ‘It’ll never work out.’

6. ‘You’re a natural’: that’s from your regular playing partner Bob The Coach  and he’s the one who sold you all the Jack Nicklaus DVDs at a very reasonable price.

7. When you were in Africa you consulted a witch doctor about your downhill putts and now you never head out on the course without the Weega Weega beads he says you must wear around your neck and the giraffe claw stuffed down your boxing shorts.

8. The owner of the local Indian restaurant was very helpful when it came to your shanking. He was  like some sort of Buddhist golf priest guru type (he should do the circuit, giving professionals the benefit of his Zen wisdom). He said: ‘Just don’t do it, you stupid man.’ And you got extra rice.

9. On the street you stopped a perfect stranger, a bit of an odd guy really, who gave you – free – advice about your tendency to shake your head before hitting every pitch. ‘Imagine that if you do it again I may appear from the trees and hit you with a baseball bat.’ Now that’s real teaching: getting you to visualize the shot.

10. You’ve started playing with your lifetime partner again and she spotted the problem on Day One. ‘You’re dropping your left shoulder!’ The fact that you were not dropping your left shoulder but began doing it once she mentioned it has no connection whatsoever. That smile she gave you as you teed off was just for encouragement. She loves you, baby!

And there are probably hundreds of other good reasons for going it alone. How can a pro, a mere mortal, compete with the collected genius of the advisers you have managed to gather around you – due, no doubt, to your natural ability, your talent for learning quickly and your charisma?

Congratulations, you’re cured; you don’t need another golf lesson ever again.

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Terry Crick, PGA Teaching Professoal June 30, 2010

Fantastic! Thank you for a good Wednesday morning laugh!

1

Jeff June 30, 2010

Terry,
love your post..doouble check the spelling of professional at the bottom of the site…keep up the great writing

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Tommy Priest July 6, 2010

Dear Terry,
Thank you! And really like your website as well…
More coming soon….

3

Tommy Priest July 6, 2010

Dear Jeff,
Thank you! Please keep letting us know your thoughts and ideas.
We’ll take a look at the spelling.

4