Have a look around the car park of your local golf club and you’ll no doubt see a vast range of cars. On the tee, you’ll also see a wealth of different clubs people are using.
It’s well known that certain cars are reflective of their owners personalities, but can we tell a lot about golfers from the cars they drive, clubs they use and scores that they shoot?
In this not-so-serious article, we examine any possible, tenuous link between these items!
1. The ‘money no object golfer’
There tends to be at least one of this type of golfer at every club. The player who turns up with the latest iPhone to their ear, immaculately turned out in brand new golf gear, flawlessly polished shoes with their seemingly brand new clubs pulled from the back of a their latest supercar.
This golfer plays not just to enjoy the game, but to show the world how much wealth they possess. They won’t play when it’s muddy and they’ll have a ‘tab’ in the clubhouse which means they never have to take out their wallet in public and they’ll have struck a ‘big, big deal” in between the first and 18th tees.
Car they drive : Usually something big, German and ostentatious, such as a top of the range Mercedes, BMW M5 or similar. Some may even progress onto an Aston Martin DB7 or the new Rolls Royce if you are at a very exclusive club. Ferraris and Porsche’s are a no-no as they are just too common.
Clubs they use: Nothing but a brand new set of the best available. A personalised set of personalised, made-to-measure Honma gold plated clubs (above) would probably suffice and the good news is, you’ll no doubt learn how much they cost as you’ll be informed of the fact at least seven times on an average round!
Score they’ll shoot: They’ll shoot in the 90’s but mark down 74 and nobody will dare say anything.
2. The ‘image is everything’ golfer
I’ve come across a lot of these golfers in my time. The ones who always have to have this year’s clubs (regardless of how badly this may affect their game), who want the latest golfing gear to go with it yet may not have the limitless finances to be able to afford everything.
The image is further cultivated in the car park with a daft choice of vehicle for a golfer, such as a convertible sports coupe, that is both too small to take their clubs and golf gear and impractical for the general climate (certainly here in the UK).
This is a golfer who looks great on the tee, resplendent with all the latest gadgets, gizmos and obligatory shades, picks out a brand new £400 driver and then tops the ball 10 yards along the fairway.
Car they drive: Finance dictates what can be afforded here, ranging from at the top range a brand new Lexus LF-LC Hybrid, down to a second hand, ten-year-old Mazda MX-5. The crucial thing here being that you cannot fit a set of clubs into the car easily and that the vehicle is generally incompatible with their every day life.
Clubs they use: Any, so long as they are the newest and most fashionable. A true image obsessed golfer cares less about how well clubs fit their game, more about how well they look on course with a brand new set of Callaway, Taylor Made, Ping etc, often changing clubs at least once a year to ensure they keep up to date with the latest trends. Whether the clubs have been fitted to their stance, loft adjusted and grooves maintained matters less than “ooh look, it’s new and shiny!”
Score they’ll shoot: They’ll shoot in the high 90’s, but it’ll be because of the wind, rain, sunshine, wrong type of grass, bad news at home, wrong shoes, wrong ball etc, etc.
3. The “frazzled family man” golfer
Perhaps the most common site at golf courses across the world is that of the family man who has sneaked off with friends to enjoy a round away from the chaos at home and work. They’ll arrive slightly dishevelled, probably a few minutes late, hot and perspiring as they’ve had some crisis to deal with before they left home.
During the round, their partner or children will call them at least six times, thus making them increasingly irritable and their game doubly erratic. They’ll enjoy the peace and quiet of playing almost as much as the game itself.
Stressed out family golfers can be spotted thanks to the childlike rainbows that their children have decided to draw over their parent’s golf bag and the fact that when they pull a nine iron out of their bag, an assortment of marbles, toy soldiers, children’s pink hair bands and a three month old lottery ticket also falls out.
Car they drive: With little money available for much else, a good solid family vehicle is what is required, with those with a bit more cash opting for a Audi A5 or Jaguar X-Type, while those with younger families and less disposable income will opt for a Ford Mondeo, Vauxhall Insignia or Renault Megane or for those with larger families, a people carrier such as a Vauxhall Zafira or similar. These are excellent choices for golf as their large boots can easily contain all the necessary golf equipment, plus it is somewhere to hide when life at home gets too noisy and stressful!
Clubs they use: With this being their retreat from the stresses of everyday life, the frazzled family golfer will have invested a decent set of clubs, but about ten years ago. So they are likely to have Ping, Callaway, Taylor Made or similar, but they may well be a few years old, well worn and unlikely to be replaced for a good few years, with an errant fairy likely to make an appearance on the face of the six iron.
Score they’ll shoot: Anything from mid 80s to 100s, but they won’t care as they are enjoying the peace and quiet!
(Pictures courtesy of Honma Golf, Gorilla Golf)