The best par-t of Golf

Good golf humor (not an oxymoron) is the best part of the golfing experience. This new section of Gorilla Golf starts the ball rolling with some quips submitted by our friend Jim Thorsell. We welcome your submissions! Just send your stories, quips and  wisdom to us at (just clean and funny… and if possible – original!)

A ‘gimme’ can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers… neither of whom can putt very well.

Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up.  You swing left and the ball goes right.  The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks (this doesn’t happen in my club….).If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here’s a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.

Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot rarely make a perfect shot.

The term ‘mulligan’ is really a contraction of the phrase ‘maul it again.’

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer.

An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it is always possible to get worse.

Golf’s a hard game to figure.  One day you’ll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green.  The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink.

If your best shots are the practice swing and the ‘gimme putt’, you might wish to reconsider this game.

Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you.

Golf is like marriage:  If you take yourself too seriously it won’t work, and both are expensive.

The best wood in most amateurs’ bags is the pencil.

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Danelle May 20, 2019

That is true for funding advice as well.


Rex May 22, 2019

Schwab Clever Portfolios invests in Schwab ETFs.


Damaris May 24, 2019

Hello, just wanted to say, I liked this article.
It was funny. Keep on posting!

3 May 25, 2019

And this is an funding danger value taking.